I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
