you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
