i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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