Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
