I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
