I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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