i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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