: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
