i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
