Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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