I got chris browned last night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have fence marks all over my body
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
