maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
