Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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