Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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