And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
