STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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