Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
be right there i have to get my cape
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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