You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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