Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
