i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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