Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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