I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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