The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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