I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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