Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
