you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
