i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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