Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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