was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize