Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How external is "for external use only"?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
