I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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