I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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