I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
