he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
