Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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