id be glad to
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
