It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
