so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize