Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
