I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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