i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
