turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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