Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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