It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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