had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
