I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
