Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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