Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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