Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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