Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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