I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
