I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
