how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
