Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
4 words: hood of his car
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
