We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize