i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
