I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
