just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She bit a glass in half.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
