when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
