I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Sober January is a disaster.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
