My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
