this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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