Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
